A Hellish Night Indeed.....

-2:03am-

That's strange. Why am I awake? I got to bed nice and early, i've got work tomorrow.....

Oh. Right. (flashback to last night)

*Johnny Cash's 'Ring of Fire' playing in the background*

"I think i'm going to start with the Red Hot Raspberry Margarita and a PBR"

"Wow, you guys ordered the spiciest food on the menu"

"If you want to eat that, you need to sign this waiver"

and most vividly,

"Welcome to Hell Night, your table is ready"

It came as no surprise that the raging inferno burrowing it's way through my lower intestine was a result of the ridiculous food choices I made earlier on that night. As a Hell Night rookie, I came in excited (maybe a bit too excited), pushed the boundaries, and ended up paying for it dearly. Perhaps a bit of cockiness was to blame after I easily sipped my Margarita with Raspberry – Red Fresno Chile Puree with little problem. Things went downhill from there.

Check out the insanely fiery menu: http://www.eastcoastgrill.net/menus/Hell0910.html

With 6 at our table (myself, Jordan, Matt, Jen, Wendy and Rich) we got enough Appetizers from Hell for everyone to have a nibble and the 'Russian Roulette' was an easy first choice. Instead of six chambers and one bullet, one of the six spicy Italian meatballs served was bumped from a paltry 2 bombs (that's right, all dishes are ranked on their heat by a series of cartoonish black bombs) to the brain scrambling, face-numbing 8 bombs. One-out-of six. I liked my chances.....right until I bit into the tiny meat nugget and was met by a resounding crunch. Confusion turned to curiosity, then to anxiety. Yup, I was screwed. The minced chilies and seeds filled my mouth and started reeking havoc on my all of my senses. Sweaty brow, pulsing tongue, and the instant feeling of regret. Ice water, cole slaw and corn bread with extra butter were slightly helpful in returning me to normalcy. We followed that up with a nice little corn and bacon stuffed clam. Honestly, I couldn't taste a whole hell of a lot at that point, but it was delicious and most importantly....harmless.

Despite our waiter's attempts to dissuade us from ordering this next dish, personal liability waivers were signed by the whole table and before we could say, "More cole slaw please" the biggest challenge of the night was plunked down on the table. The Pasta from Hell. Made with the infamous ghost chile and constructed by the sadistic, gas mask wearing kitchen staff, this small bowl of pain was intimidating and proved to be as mean as advertised.

Look at all of the #@*^ing chilies!!

We all slowly twirled the pepper-saturated ribbons of pasta onto our quivering forks and took a bite. Instantly, I felt a rush of heat in my mouth and over the faint snickers in the distance from our waiter, chewed and swallowed. After a few minutes of shallow breathing, and gauging reactions across the table, I felt like a commercial for a drug that hadn't quite yet been perfected.

*Pasta from Hell should not be taken if you are pregnant, or plan on becoming pregnant. Some side effects could include:

- temperature changes ranging from 'rolling up sleeves' hot to 'is the air conditioning blowing right on me?' cold

- uncontrollable shaking

- the urge to curse

- digestive issues of biblical proportions

Do not try to operate heavy machinery after taking Pasta from Hell. You might not want to leave your apartment for a while either as Pasta from Hell's potency can last for quite sometime.

Big ups to Wendy for taking initiative and reaching for the ghastly pasta first and Rich for being the downright craziest for taking bite after bite. I'm not sure if there are enough yogurt cups or Rolaids in the world to extinguish what he must have gone through.

We hit the peak of the crescendo with the pasta, but the accompanying "Wings of Ass Destruction" were a bit feisty as well. Since there was actual taste and not just burn, I was able to tackle 3 of those little guys. A good choice at the time....not so much later.

By the time our main courses were dropped off, my taste buds were completely trashed. This proved to be a good thing though. The torched exterior of my tongue no longer picked up on the intense spices, but merely the amazingly diverse flavors of the Korean Fried Chicken Thigh with Peach Kimchee and the Jamaican-style Pork done 3 Ways.

For those of you keeping score at home, the number of bombs digested at Hell Night 2010.

3+8+3+7+9+4+7=41 bombs

All in all, the East Coast Grill and their staff did an amazing job of creating inventive fireball dishes, and hosting a completely idiotic, painful and awesome event. See you next time!

Minus the pasta though......

Chowin' down in Chile

As I have been back from my Chilean adventure for about three weeks now, I realize this post is long overdue. For roughly two weeks after I returned everything I ate in the states was mildly depressing. That's how wonderful the cuisine of this South American country treated me.


I fell in love with how this country eats at my first meal when one of the many toast condiments served to me at breakfast was the a dulce de leche type spread called Manjar. This creamy, milkly caramel spread was so good that I snuck a jar of it back on the plane with me. However, it's apparently simple to make by slow cooking condensed milk, a recipe I have every intention of trying soon.




My friend Dominique, who I've known since probably fifth or sixth grade was my tour guide as she has been living in Chile for the summer. I flew in to Santiago, but we soon headed to the port of Vailpairaso, where seafood is king and the vino tinto is cheap. At a rusty looking restaurant called La Playa we dined on fresh seafood. I opted for the fillet and ensalada, while Dominique ordered Chupe de Jaibas, a casserole made out of crab cakes. It is a classic Chilean dish that unfortunately I didn't indulge in, damn you crab allergy!

Filet con Ensalada of Avacado, lettuce, cabbage and potato salad

Chupe de Jaibas

Later we drank Chilean wine and went out for pisco sours. 


On our last night in Valpo, during a quick jaunt through the city we stopped and sampled sopapilla, which is basically fried bread. For a mere 30 cents, these little guys hit the spot. People line up left and right for one, dress it with hot sauce, ketchup or mustard and go on their merry way.

While our dining in Santiago and Pucon was enjoyable, the real treat came upon arrival at el Campo, or Rodrigo's farm. As a whole hearted advocate of local eating my last two days on the farm outside of Temuco were a dream come true. Breakfast consisted of eggs from the family hens, fresh baked bread made from wheat that Rodrigo's family grows on their land and local cheese.

The first night we arrived we ventured out in the truck to hunt for rabbits. Rodrigo drove, with a shotgun across his lap as Dom and I kept our eyes peeled for movement and cotton tails darting through the bushes. After a few failed attempts, Rodrigo jumped out of the truck on the dirt road and HIT..we got one. We took it back to the house, where he showed me how to skin the rabbit, which you have to do right away or else the skin sticks. It was surprisingly not very bloody. We let the rabbit soak in vinegar over night, which gets the grassy taste out. We cooked it in pig lard the next day, which produced a tender and meatier than any rabbit leg I've been served in a restaurant, earthy but not gamey.

Dominique and Rodrigo taught me all about eating off their land and how all the farmers share with neighbors for their local goods. Just weeks ago they killed and ate a pig from a neighbor. We ate more fresh bread with honey from combs that Rodrigo's family harvest next to their chicken coops. I told his mom about a recent article I read about New Yorkers harvesting honey on apartment rooftops in Brooklyn and she was astonished about the safety of keeping bees so close. The honey was grainy and chunky, and delicious. It didn't have a floral taste or aroma like the wildflower honey you get in the states. I kept going back to the honey bowl so much they offered to let me take some home. 

After a two day tour of the farm, including an early rise to feed the cows, horesback ride and walk through neighboring pastures, I spent my last night in Temuco enjoying an Asada of sheep ribs with Rodrigo and his brothers and sister who were visiting. The night, which included many bottles of vino tinto, piscos and cokes and this lovely array of appertifs was the perfect end to my Chilean culinary experience. 

I can't wait to go back!